There are many serious aspects of my life and health at the moment. I am currently back in hospital due to another infection around the site of one my drains. I have three drains upon which I am pretty dependant to stay healthy.
At the end of last week, when I started to run a small temperature I came immediately to the hospital as per the instruction I had been given. I am alarmed by the speed with which I can become sick. Within a few hours of a tube being fixed, they located a new infection site and put me on some very strong antibiotics. It suddenly felt like a light was turned on. I was wide awake and alert. It was then I started to understand how sick I had been for a while and not even noticed. My energy level went up, my yellow colouring was going away and I generally felt pretty good.
I am acutely aware of two things – I really need the drains to work and I need to keep the infections down.
Having said that, I woke up this morning feeling blue. It was pretty simple actually. I live in Bangkok, ergo it is always hot. I live in a community with swimming pools everywhere and I love swimming. And, thanks to my tubes, I cannot swim.
Logical? Of course not. It was utterly silly! But it started me thinking. Granted, this was 4:30 this morning while I waiting for blood work and other nice things to happen. As I started to think and pray, I realized that I was fighting against the limitations that the Lord has allowed into my life.
Limitations are a common in all of our lives. They include all of the things that we cannot change such as age, ethnicity, height and much of our health. Maturity, as humans means that we learn to accept what we cannot change. Maturity as a follower of Jesus means that we try to learn how to live in surrender to our Father.
Paul puts it this way.
Philippians 4:11 (NIV)
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Being content, resting in the situation is a supreme act of trust in the sovereignty of God.
In Psalm 131:2 it is expressed this way -
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
I still want to swim but more than that I want to learn to live like a child leaning on its mothers breast. What a amazing image of trust. It is one I want to see acted out in my life.